The Dating Game

 I wanna go back
I just wish you were the same again
When days didn’t have names and being in love wasn’t made up of games
When being in love wasn’t made up of games.” – All We Have Again, Megan & Liz.

A lot of people think dating’s a big game, and that whenever you get who you’re after, you’ve somehow “won.” I don’t want to play this “dating game” anymore. I realized that I’m done with the artificial, the fakeness, the half-assed compliments and late night “I miss you” musings. I feel like all that shit makes things like dating, relationships, and love so freaking complicated. And I don’t think it should be.

Remember when you were younger and you liked a boy? Well, you’d maybe pass a note to him or, if you were a brave elementary or middle schooler, you’d go up to them and tell them you like them. And if you were “dating” it was that someone tied a string around your finger or made you a matching bracelet or stick on tattoo. Oh, those were the days. (I’m kidding, just a little anyway).

But, in all honesty, I wish we could uncomplicate things a little. Instead of being sneaky and making up all this BS, why can’t we just be honest with people about how we feel? And what happened to meeting people spontaneously, or through “a friend of a friend who knows a friend”? Why can’t “just talking” mean just that….and why does everyone have to hookup with everyone else? I’ve written before about not being a fan of the “Netflix and Chill” situation; but I’m also not a fan of the whole online dating world either. I tried it….again and again I’m reminded of why it’s just not for me. I need the actual connection with someone….that initial “spark” if you will. I want the first dates: with the jitters, the butterflies, and the slight awkwardness. I want the serious relationship: the one with mutual respect and love for one another. I want all the things that I used to dream of as a little girl believing in fairytales. And while yes, I know that a lot of people in my generation are doing the whole online dating or casual hookup/friends with benefits scenario(s), it’s just not my scene.

I mean, what’s up with all these rules we’re (girls…and I’m sure there are some rules for guys too?) supposed to follow? Like waiting 3 hours or 3 days to text them back. Or that we’re supposed to “be busy” all the time, but maybe try to “fit them in our schedule” so we seem more in demand than we actually are. And let’s not forget, guys are supposed to call and text first *insert eye roll emoji here.* Why can’t we just make it easy on ourselves…if you like someone, let them know. All these games and special “dating rules” need to be broken. Sure, there’s playing hard to get…but that’s a whole different story then just flat-out being a player, you know what I mean?

I guess I can’t say for sure that I won’t try online dating down the line…because maybe in a year or so, I’d be ready for that step. But for right now, in this moment of my life, I’m so not interested. As for being “casual?” Nope, no way. I’m the complete opposite. And no, I can’t say for sure what’ll happen later in my life, but I know that good things will come to me when I’m ready for them. And I still need to be more in-tune with myself before I let another person in. That’s just me, though. All the stuff that I mentioned above might be perfect for others. And if it is, well to each their own. I’ll let Brooke Davis sum it all up:

Maybe for you, it’s more complex than that. But for me, that’s really all I want. The rest can happen from there, you know? -K.