I just wanted to share some of the quotes that I recently found online and on social media. They have really spoken to me, so thank you to the wonderfully talented lyricists, poets, and other artists that penned them. My own thoughts or addings-on will be displayed below each quote. I may do a series of these posts, because my mood can change pretty easily, or this may be a one time blog post. Either way, enjoy. -K.Sometimes we do things we’re not proud of. Sometimes we do things we know we shouldn’t. Sometimes we don’t even know why we do things. Sometimes shit just happens. And it sucks. And there’s pain on top of pain, on top of pain….so much so that your heart feels like it’s crushed. And you’re hurting. And so you use whatever vice you’ve always known to make it all a blur. Only it doesn’t help…it simply makes it worse. And so the hurt is back, tenfold this time. And time again. And sometimes we ignore that little voice inside our heads. Sometimes we don’t listen to that “intuition.” Sometimes we pretend we don’t feel that knot in our stomach or that fast best of our heart. Sometimes we choose the wrong things, the wrong people, the wrong path. Sometimes, our biggest enemy is ourself. And sometimes, that can be the hardest pill to swallow. But sometimes, we can lose parts of ourselves in those wrong people, places, or things. Sometimes, those memories come back to haunt us instead of being us joy. Sometimes those people wreck our lives instead of help. Sometimes, that path becomes riddled with darkness and despair, instead of the seemingly idyllic road it once was. Sometimes, all this stuff can throw us for a loop and turn our world upside down. And it can be scary letting go of all you know, even if what you knew wasn’t good for you. And sometimes, in this time of change, we can feel stuck. Stuck inside our minds or doubts. Trapped by our emotions. Or even in limbo…caught in between what we were and what we are, and of course, what we’d like to be….or rather, who we’d like to be. And sometimes, we forget that we’re allowed to evolve. To grow. To change. To be. Or to become. Sometimes I think we, myself included, forget that we don’t have to have it all figured out or have it wrapped up in one shiny bow. Life’s not like that…no matter how much I’d (or you…or we) like it to be sometimes. Sometimes I think I’m scared to really get to know myself; there might be things I wish I didn’t have to unearth. But other times, I’m excited to continue to discover things about myself. Like what I can do or how I can be. And yes, I know that life is one big mess of good moments and bad ones, but I’m usually jumping from one extreme to the next on the journey. And sometimes I want this part to slow down a little, just enough so that I can breathe and feel free. Just for a moment to revel in the possibility. Sometimes when I look back over this first half of the year, I get a glimpse of what I’ve accomplished thus far. But other times, all I can see are the mistakes I have made or the bad decisions that I’ve done. And the latter can be a bit (okay, a lot) disheartening. But you know what? Sometimes I also have little sparks of energy and passion and power. And I need to run with those more. Express myself more in those moments. Live more for those moments. Penning this post is a good step in the right direction. Being honest with myself and putting distance between myself and the things that no longer serve me is another one. You know, sometimes I think what we also forget is that our worst days are only 24 hours. And the sun will come up again. And so we can try again. To be better. To do better. Hell, even in the next moment, we can begin again. We don’t have to wait until the darkness creeps in or the sun streaks through our windows. We can start to improve right now. Sometimes I feel like I don’t trust myself enough. I also feel like sometimes (okay, recently most of the time) I don’t listen to my heart enough. I know that I know what’s good for me. I know that I know what’s not. And yet somehow, the opinions of others or societal standards get in the way. And sometimes I just want to break down those damn walls I put up and scream at the top of my lungs: “I KNOW MY TRUTH. I KNOW WHO I AM AND I KNOW MY STORY.” I want to own my story. And own up to my mistakes. And own my worth, you know? Take my power back. Be the person I know has been hiding behind the drinks and the binges and the dark makeup and all the other shit I’ve put myself through.
I know that I am better than that. I know that I deserve more than that. Sometimes I think that the reason I like taking so many pictures and having so many of them on my social media is so I can literally document those happy moments like the quote says above. Although, I have been known to document my not-so-happy moments too. I guess it’s a double edged sword, or two way street, or whatever the hell saying means that “it goes both ways” essentially. I don’t like remembering the unsavory, the imperfect. I’d rather remember the good times and the genuine, full of fun, laughter and smiles. I’ll take the real over the fake, please. I think I’ve just let the real me fall away for a little while too long. But I’m slowly bringing her back, stronger than ever. And if there’s one thing you take away from this, let it be the reminder above. You’re trying, and that is always, always enough.